I could be Korryn Gaines…

I saw the video in the car. I was like damn she was really putting her kids in danger. Yes, those are my thoughts. What can I say? I am a mother. I am not perfect; do not get it twisted. The reality is though, I do not know her experience dealing with cops. Who knows? Not I. They should not have killed that woman.

I understand being caught up and fed up too. I do not think the cops needed to move so aggressively. The killer, what is his name? Dylan Roof? The one who killed all those black people in the church was walked out nicely after he committed multiple murders. But, trained professionals can’t get out of a situation without committing murder and shooting a child? It is so sad.

I can understand her frustration, even without knowing all of the details. Sometimes you can feel like the cops are just fucking with you. You know?

Let me tell you about a time I was pulled over with my kids in the car.

I really think I get pulled for being black and driving by the projects. My oldest has/had a crazy fear of cops. I got pulled over one day and she just started crying. I mean berserk. She was so scared. I realized she knew more than I told her at that moment. It is sad to see a child terrified of the police. When I thought about her reaction, I remembered she heard about Trayvon Martin getting killed for being black. And other people who were killed by cops.  I can understand her being afraid. I personally never bash cops to my kids.

One day, I get pulled over a few blocks from my house. I was pulled over by the projects. I don’t live in the projects, but they are close by.  You know how Brooklyn is now? Or I could say gentrified. The projects are across the street from these nice ass houses and shit. They don’t fuck with the white homeowners though. The cops think every black person lives in the projects and/or they are breaking rules. It is annoying. I live in a building on a quiet street. I have never even been in the projects in my neighborhood.

On this day, the female cop didn’t want to tell me why she stopped me. She actually never told me why she pulled me over. She started the shit off wrong. I gave her all of my shit. I was good. I was also ready to go home. I just picked the kids up from after-school and I needed to make dinner. I didn’t have time to play with POPO. She was just nasty from the gate though. So, once everything seemed all good, she asked me to put my window up to test it. I asked her why and she said, “just put the window up!” I have tints, I assumed she thought they were illegal. The kids had a lil bit of window peaking from the bottom in the back. I was like damn, she had no reason to pull me over, my papers were legit and now she has “found” for a reason. She asked me to put MY driver side window up, so she can do her test. Nah. My daughter was literally sick in the back with the tears. I just wanted to go my 3 blocks home. Let me get the ticket if your eye-ball test suspects illegal tints. I told her my daughter is deathly afraid of cops, I was uncomfortable with her doing any tests on my car, but if she felt I was in the wrong, I would take the ticket. Her male partner came over and asked if he could test my windows. I said no, but again, I said I will take the ticket if he thought I deserved one. The man offered me the “thing” to test the window myself. No thanks. Then they might say I took/stole the device! I told him I was uncomfortable handling their device. Just give me the ticket. 

The woman tried to put her device on the lil piece of window sticking to scan it. As soon as I saw her move towards the back window, I closed it. I closed all the windows and left mine fully open. There was nothing she could test. The device needs to go over the window. She was pissed. 

The man said he could have me arrested with my kids in the car, have my car towed and I could be charged with obstruction of justice. *eye roll* I started googling. I mean, how much time did they want to waste on windows they weren’t even sure were illegal? A ticket for illegal tints is $95. Just give me the ticket, but I am not facilitating shit.

I was patient the whole time. I said no to them, but I didn’t get worked up. My daughter was already worked up, so I was calm.

He left and came back. Before he gave me my paperwork, he told me I was doing a “disservice” to my kids. Okay. I just thanked him for my papers and went home.

Both officers were white.

My point is, shit can go left real quick. What if he arrested me for not allowing him to test my windows? I am not even sure what the law is about allowing cops to test/touch your vehicle. What if the woman who was nasty at the door flew off the handle? She was rude, but I wouldn’t take the bait to go there with her at all. Anything could happen. I do think we should have the right to say no to shit though.

I could have just let the woman talk to me like shit and then let her test the window. I just wasn’t in the mood that day. I really wasn’t. I could have just complied. I just didn’t like how the woman was talking to me. I was prepared for the ticket, fuck the long-talking.

I feel sorry for Korryn’s kids. She probably thought they wouldn’t shoot because her child was there. I am sad she was killed. I know she wasn’t complying. But, damn, that is how we handle motor vehicle violations? Run up on people? In their home? Kicking the door down? And for what? Some petty bullshit?

Sometimes it is hard to stand up for what you believe as a parent. It’s like, you want to march and speak your mind, but what if the cops are trigger happy that day? Who could do a bigger disadvantage to the kids?

These are just my jumbled thoughts; I am so down about this beautiful young mother dying for NOTHING.
















  1. In regards to Korryn, you will see that Cliven Bundy and the Oregon militia group not only pointed weapons at law enforcement, but specifically talk about harming law enforcement. The stand off for them took weeks and they were brought in alive. As people classified as non-white we have to understand that in a system of white supremacy, we have no rights. We are still in a slave system. White supremacy is slavery for non whites because knowing something exist, wanting it to end and yet you are powerless to do anything about it is slavery.

    It’s time we start using our words very carefully.These are not police officers. I use the term suspected race soldier. These are suspected white supremacist wearing a badge and have a gun. This is why others are brought in alive and we get killed on the spot. I use my own code of conduct for interacting with a suspected race soldier. Don’t fuss, don’t fight and don’t move. Again, I can be killed anyway and I understand that. I’m a prisoner of war in this current system and I act accordingly. Too many of us really don’t understand this. They think it’s post racial and everything is all gravy.


  2. I think people missed the point where the date of the stop was months in between the warrant issuing and them coming to her house. They came because they had a warrant to arrest her. They knocked for quite a while and heard her in there, When they finally got the door open she had shot gun in hand and said the same thing she said in the video at the traffic stop, yall gonna have to kill me. Unfortunately, after hours of debates and try to get her out they did just what she said, killed her.

    Its a sad story and it sucks that her kids were around during both of these incidents. I think people need to be mindful of their behaviors around kids, and act accordingly. She could’ve had her day in court and proved whatever point she was trying to make.

    She could still be alive. Its a sad situation though, and I feel bad her son was shot and that he watched his mother die.


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