Little Girls Should Be Seen And Not Heard!

Do you believe this is the case? Have you heard this saying? Did your family say and/or believe this line of thinking?

I don’t like it. I really don’t like it.

My kids have been told this by two of their daycare providers. I like both of the women, but I don’t believe they should be teaching this to our children —  my children.

My last caretaker told them ‘kids should be seen and not heard.’ I was standing there at the time and I told them that wasn’t true. It was okay to speak. I am just saying. She used to tell them certain things were only for boys too. I was also there for that one and I told them girls can do what boys can do, as long as it’s not against the rules. She told them certain toys were for boys too. Again, I disagreed. What toy couldn’t a girl play with? That is just stupid. It sets girls up to put boys on an unnecessary pedestal. Why? Did these boys do something special? Why are they given all these rights from birth? Kids should be treated the same.

I don’t want my daughters to live in the shadows of the boys and the men in their lives. Why are women even pushing this sexism? It makes no sense to me.

I tell my kids the opposite of what they are told, in terms of this “girls can’t do this and that” foolery. My current caretaker is a woman I love. She took care of my kids for years. I recently brought them back to her this summer. She is amazing in so many ways. I am going out of my way to continue staying with her when school starts. We left because I didn’t have a car and I just couldn’t keep traveling to see her anymore.

My 4-year-old told me “little girls should be seen and not heard” yesterday when I picked her up. She told me the teacher told her that. I told her that wasn’t the case. But, I think I was confusing her because we normally listen to the teacher. I had to totally stop it right there though.

It irks me to the core. I need to have a talk with the teacher.

What do you guys feel about telling our children (boys & girls) these kinds of things?

Chime in!


  1. I definitely disagree with both statements. I think sometimes people get lazy in the dealing with children department, so they make up or pass along rules that make it easy for them. It’s easier to say “children should be seen and not heard” instead of taking the time to teach a child why they shouldn’t be in an adult conversation or use whatever volume you decide is appropriate at the time. It’s easier to say girls do/wear/play with this and boys the opposite because its easier to teach a child to go along with all the stigmas that exist instead of thinking for themselves. Let’s face it, it’s hard work teaching a child to be great and to make their own choices. Some people are just too lazy. Keep up the great work.


    1. I do agree it is a way for them to just get them to “shush” without further explanation.

      It really is hard to teach kids to be great and it can be tiring with all the talking. But, it just isn’t an excuse to push this line of thinking on them.


  2. Hell, I used to hear that all the time when I was growing up; I even came close to cussing out a relative who had the nerve to say this to me and all because my cousins and I were in the other room playing, away from the adults, when that fool came in and laid this gem on us. I actually tried to find out why the older – and much older – generation used this phrase but wasn’t able to find out; I just accepted the fact that hearing it used pissed me off and, being a non-conformist, I was gonna keep making noise!

    I never said this to my children, although I have heard others say it along with, “Stay out of grown folks’ conversations!” – it was just easier for me to tell my children to be quiet and chill if there were getting out of hand.


    1. I tell my kids, I am having an adult conversation. So, I make them leave the space I am in. I do this when I am on the phone or when I am the company of adults.

      If they are making noise, I tell them to stop. Not because they are kids, but because they are too loud or just doing too much of whatever it is they are doing.

      I just think people should stop telling kids this kind of thing. Kids can feel like they can’t speak up, even when they should.


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