Take your clothes off…

I was reading one of the lesbian groups on Facebook. This topic seems to pop-up a lot. It annoys me every single time.

The poster wanted opinions or advice on a situation.

Let me set the scene:

You are a stud/ag and your feminine girlfriend decides to start dressing masculine, what would you do?

People were saying the most bizarre shit. They were telling the poster, to leave her girlfriend. They said she should confront her and all kind of madness. They would be VERY angry and would NOT stand for it. My advice, was to kill her girlfriend. She had some nerve — buying new clothes.

What is the big deal? Who cares what she is wearing, if you love the woman?

I gave my 2 cents and some of the women disagreed. I will never subscribe to that way of thinking. I could care less, how  my girlfriend dressed. If I met her one way, fell in love, and she changed her style of dress, it would not matter. I know her already. Plus, I like having sex, so I am hoping she isn’t wearing too much clothes all the time.

I can understand not dating a certain type of woman. I understand being attracted to fems or non-fems. I completely get it. But, if this is a woman, you are already in a relationship with, you would leave? Wow!

I love and I am attracted to both feminine and masculine women. They both have sexiness to them — that draws me in. I try not to limit myself. I want to have all my options open. I am single so, they need to be wide open.

Clothes do not make the person. I have dated non-fems that were much more submissive than myself. Sexually, I would completely take control and do things, they didn’t even know they liked. Open up your mind. I refuse to live by the way I dress. I have dated feminine women, that were so damn aggressive, I was like “well, damn.” I actually don’t like over the top aggression. I like a little of both worlds — I give a little of both worlds myself. I like a masculine woman to have a soft feminine side — so sexy. I like a feminine woman to have an aggressive side. I don’t feel people should get too stuck in their roles.

Do you expect people to act a certain way, because of the way they dress? 


  1. Why would one’s sexuality have to be defined by the way they dress in the first place? Is there some lesbian law that says studs have to dress like men but femmes can’t? I mean, what the fuck; you gonna let someone tell you how you should be dressing… and more so if they ain’t paying for your clothes?

    And women wonder why men think they are totally and incurably insane?

    I don’t understand what the one thing has to do with the other – and I think I’m a fairly smart guy…


  2. Miss Brooklynite, I am just dropping by to see what’s good. I mean, I noticed that you stopped by my spot so… here’s I be. Plus, I am always curious how someone finds my humble abode? I don’t post that often anymore but sometimes I drop a little something. Anyway, your post was very interesting to say the least.


  3. I like my guys a little bit femmy, but, I think it’s even hotter when they dress masculine. Maybe it’s the liberated dichotomy that I find so appealing.
    I’m currently seeing a transguy (FTM) who certainly has his masculine side but retains his feminine side, proud he can rock both sides of the street. He dresses quite masculine. I would have no problem if he dressed up all pretty-like. His choice.

    Here’s one for you: I wear a skirt made from US Army paratrooper pants when I’m at Burning Man. The gal who made it, wore it in Panama as a wildlife biologist, and then gave it to me is way butch. Which side does it fall on?
    These are the questions that keep me up at night… 😉


  4. I think maybe those women had a problem with a woman changing her attire is that generally lesbians communicate a lot by how they dress. Dressing as a stud generally means you are into fems. So some see it as if you are changing your place in lesbian society.

    It probably it wouldn’t have been as big a deal if a stud femmed it up a bit.

    Does that make sense?


  5. I think your post brings attention to a very important topic/issue-how a woman dresses does not define her sexuality and it certainly should not influence someone to break up/leave the relationship. It is quite unfortunate that many people fail to appreciate, understand and recognize the beauties that the inside of a person has-personality, emotions, etc. I do understand that one has to be attracted to the other person physically. However, if a person in a relationship buys clothing that is different than they usually buy-is that even a fair nor even an enough reason to actually leave them? I say no and I would not do so myself because I think when you’re in a long term, committed, meaningful relationship with someone-you have to expect and be prepared for some changes such as clothing-changes and differences between two people should bring them closer together rather than drawing them away-changes and differences should enable the two people to learn about one another and grow closer-even if there may be an argument.
    I also think how a woman dresses (and not only a woman for this matter-also how a man dresses-how anyone dresses regardless of their gender)-it absolutely does not define nor state anything about their sexuality because the options, varieties, reasons, tastes and styles for clothing are endless and one cannot simply make such an immense assumption based purely on clothing, style and dress-that would be quite/extremely ignorant, brash, judgmental, immature and stereotypical.


  6. What?! People really have some issues in this world.
    How you gonna switch up on a woman because she decides to dress differently?! I don’t get it. Heels, sneakers, boots. Tank tops, t-shirts, tube tops… The person wearing them is the same.

    I don’t see myself OR my girlfriend fitting into any of the existing “categories” and neither one of us sees the need to fit in. I’m not fem, sporty, stud… None of it. Neither is she. And if she decides to dress like a guy tomorrow, BIG DEAL. If she decides to wear heels and lipstick, FINE.

    Those people on that group are friggin’ CRAZY. Either that, or they are stuck inside a box someone else made for them, and they want to do the same to other people.


  7. Hello again,

    I am an “interloper” or “outsider” here but I’ve been following this discussion via my e-mail notification. Anyway, I am going to take a little time to play the DEVIL’S ADVOCATE. My daughter is gay and she’s the butch (I hope that’s the right word) in her relationship. She dresses and acts like a dude (the best she can) 24/7. Her wife (they got married in Iowa) is the pretty girl. She would never be caught dead without her fingernails done, fine dangling jewelery, her hair wiped or wearing the most expensive perfume, let alone showing her clevage (large clevage) at every oppurtunity she can.. Now I am wondering how my daughter would feel if her wife all of a sudden flipped the script and started wearing combat boots, sagging pants and dusty tennis shoe? But let me go back. A person’s dress precedes them, it speaks for them and first impressions are lasting impressions. I am suggesting that when I looked for and found my lady (I’m a dude) there was certain characteristic that I was looking for, which included how she carried herself and how she dressed. So, the package she presented to me was the package I “bought”. One is walking a slippery slope when they change the game in the middle of the sea. Granted, there’s a thang called “Until love do us part” but lets be real, jealousy & envy & WTF’s can pave the way to another love TKO. Seriously, when someone’s mate starts dressing differently, the attennas of “who are they now dressing for?” and “who are they trying to attract?” go on full alert. Come on now… y’all know that’s true. Besides, if a person knows how their mate likes for them to dress, what kind of love and respect would they be showing if they did just the opposite? Think about that for a second or two. Lasting relationships are very difficult to maintain. They take 2 mature adults who know compromise is the name of the game. Lastly, lets take this one step further. What if your mate wanted to all of a sudden wear clothes that exposed their “goodies” in a flirtatuous fashion? Huh…would your opinion of “how a person dresses does not make nor define said person” change? Holla! Holla if you feel me… or don’t 🙂


  8. I wouldn’t even care if my partner started wearing a Ronald McDonald wig and those bigass crazy shoes, too. I mean, big shoes? Oh hell yeah! I’d dress up like the Hamburglar and get downright freaky with our goofy selves.


  9. I agree with Kdaddy their are no rules… people can wear what they want and do as the please!!

    This brings me back to when my bff called me a bootleg bisexual. SMDH…


Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s