“Lunch Date Girl”

Remember the lunch date girl? Well, she is a mess. I knew there was a high chance of her being a mess. But, I have tried to be more open-minded over the last couple of years. This open-mindedness has been very experimental.

She has gone on and on about her most recent ex. I do NOT like that at all. I actually told her that too. I have a major gripe with lesbian ex-drama. It seems to never end. Yes, women will talk about their ex and that is fine, as long as it is minimal. Also, if a relationship develops, I don’t want to be still hear about an ex, 6 months later. My major-major gripe? Women who are still in love with their ex and they have the nerve to be dating. Cut it out. Take some time for YOU!

The ex played the shit out of her and she seems to still have a candle burning for this woman. This isn’t my issue though, just something I noticed. I felt I should make it clear to her, that we would only be friends. We haven’t spoken very much and we were texting a little here and there. But, I did see that she had an interest in me and I thought, I should put that out there. From what I was gathering, she had extremely low self esteem, minimal self-worth, needed a lot of attention, could not take any control, lonely and horny. I decided pretty quickly, that we wouldn’t work. I just don’t have the mental capacity to add that into my life.

So, she was telling me about her ex one day and then she added “I feel sorry for the next girl” and some shit about putting a new girl through a series tests. I told her, she should not do that to another woman. I told her, when she finally does meet someone, they shouldn’t have to pay for another person’s mistakes. I told, her she should take some time for herself and when she is ready to date, she should treat that person, like a new person, not an extension of the one that did her wrong. I told her, to make sure she is mentally ready to date, when she does meet someone new.

She said the new girl wouldn’t even know she was being tested. I was trying to help her out, you know, give some advice. I do want to be a therapist, so I love to practice my skills. She said “don’t worry, I won’t put you through too many tests.” Me? Girl, stop! I am not even on the radar. I responded with “Me? No, I am not talking about me. We are just friends. We already know too much, for us to be more than friends.” I told her a funny ex story, to make her laugh before. So, she “knew” some of my foolishness too.

She seemed to be thrown by my comment. She said something about me already being tested — when we went on to lunch. Okay. But, I have shown zero interest in dating. I barely keep up with texts. It was very basic. When she did text me she said, I was being incognito. I don’t like when people call or text with the “oh, you can’t call no body” foolishness. Or text me with “you are always hiding.” If you want to talk, you should just talk. That is what I do. If, I text or call someone, I just get right into it. I don’t ask them why they didn’t contact me. Who cares? I like friends and family that just call and talk to me. Lets not act all awkward and shit. Ya know? Just fall back into place. If you need a disclaimer every time you make contact, leave me alone. That is way too much work — I am a busy woman.

Prior to this, she told me she deleted her FB account. I thought that was strange, so I asked why. She said it was because of her ex. I told her to just block her, she didn’t have to delete her whole page. I am just saying, that is stupid. I am not deleting shit, but I will block the hell out of you. Apparently, I had something to do with this Facebook deletion too. I wrote something on my wall, about keeping it light on FB and not overexposing. It was a general statement based on what I was seeing that day. I do not go on her page, but she thought it was directed to her and deleted the page. HUH? She was writing some nonsense about the ex, I guess. I must have put my statement on my wall after her post. I am not sure, I never saw what she wrote. She felt, I was talking about her and she just deleted the whole thing. It was the most ridiculous thing. I laughed when she told me this craziness. I told her, I go on FB, but it is rare, I actually visit a bunch of pages. I usually just sign on @ work sometimes and see what ever pops up on my page. She didn’t pop up, so I had no clue what was going on.I was so lost. She told me “I thought you were talking to me, and said sorry. Sorry? Why was she apologizing about her OWN FB page? Oh, this was weird. She did text me “I’m sorry,” one day and I thought it was because I was sick. Remember when I was sick? Well, this wasn’t long after.

Anyhow, she sent me a text, the day after I told her about us being friends. She wrote a long text, talking about, she finally met someone and she is trying to figure out what she did to run me off. I didn’t respond to the text, it was too much self-pity. I also didn’t respond, because I would have went into “therapist” mode.We actually did talk about therapy. I suggested seeing a therapist and she said she thought about it before. But, didn’t think it would do her any good. I disagreed! She was supposed to think about it a bit more. I told her, I would help her find one, once her insurance was active — if she wanted.

Oh, I forgot a main thing that occurred.  She sent a text one say saying something about meeting me at a bad time and she being no good to anyone. A crazy-talk text. I asked what she was talking about. She was sounding a lil nuts. She proceeds to tell me about her suicide attempt. She said she tried to kill her self about 3 times the week prior. She said she told her friend and her friend ran to her house and kicked in the door and took the pills away. She was going to kill her self with Advil or Tylenol, because she was depressed.  She was depressed because of money and her life. She was lonely too. I think a lot of this had to do with the ex. She recently found out the ex lied about a whole bunch of shit and also said she was too weak, that was the reason the ex did not want her as a girlfriend.

Apparently, the ex was still in love with HER ex and cheated on her the whole time with that woman. She went on a cruise with the woman, but lied about going with her sister. When “lunch date girl” needed a place to stay, the girl told her she wasn’t running a shelter and she couldn’t stay, because she had relatives staying at her apartment. Well, she recently found out the “relatives” were the ex and the ex’s family.

“LDG” gave this girl thousands of dollars, that she stole, to keep her from eviction. The girl had not paid her rent in a thousand years and “LDG” gave her the money and did all the running around with her. Well, when she needed a place to stay, she was told NO. She still had a phone connected for this same girl. She said she recently disconnected the phone. The girl came on FB, a few days later, saying she had a new phone. I think that upset her as well. The girl played the SHIT out of her and it seems to have played a part in her “suicide attempt.” I don’t think she was going to kill herself. But, I do think she was depressed and needed some attention. She was crying out for someone to take notice of her pain. I don’t think she was going to kill herself because, I asked if she took any of the pills and she said she took 3.

I tried to be as positive as possible. I was showing the bright side to everything.

Anyway, she text me today. I lost my phone over the weekend and I had to reconnect an old phone. I haven’t known her that long, so she isn’t in the old phone. I get a text saying something about me, not staying in contact or something. I wasn’t sure who it was. There is another friend, who told me that the other day. Well, she has tried to meet up and it hasn’t happened. So, I asked who it was and the person went off. She said something like “oh, you must have deleted me and didn’t want to talk to me anymore, that is fine.” It was something to that effect. I responded “I lost my phone.” Obviously, she felt stupid, because she says she thought, I may have lost my phone, after she sent the text. It was LDG.

Too much!


    1. What’s next? N.O.T.H.I.N.G! This is all from the minimal contact we had. I mean, this is 1 or 2 phone calls and a few texts. I am sure she will send me a crazy text every now and then, but, even those are rarely answered. That is why she was calling me Ms. Incognito.


  1. Yikes! I don’t like people getting that emotionally attached unless we have a mutually established close relationship. That goes for friends, family, and romance. The husband has this batshit crazy friend and I tell him “you’re not resposible for her eomtional or mental well-being” all the time. I applaud you for even trying to help. When I come across people like that, I just never speak to them ever again.


  2. What gets me about this is her choice to text you instead of writing an email. This woman is obviously damaged goods and someone even I wouldn’t want to deal with in a relationship setting and I’d be seriously reconsidering whether being a friend is warranted or not. It’s not all the drama baggage she has that I find bothersome but her apparent inability to deal with whatever happened to her.

    One other thing. It’s a real bitch to be punished for shit that someone else did before you. Even when we don’t think we’re doing it to someone, we are – but that’s because we handle relationships based on what went on in our pasts. We just keep adding shit to the “I ain’t gonna do” list and all that does is place severe limitations going forward.


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