I was reading another blog today and it reminded me of some funny stories. Do you guys remember AOL, chat lines and Black Planet? HA!
I had some BAD experiences with the whole “blind date” thing. I will never-ever again leave my fucking apartment, if I have not seen a picture first.
I shall share a few stories with you.
I ran away
I was in an AOL chat room and a woman with the name Caramel some-shit sent me an instant message. I found out she lived in my neighborhood. After talking a few times, she asked if I wanted to meet. We did not exchange pictures. We were to meet a few blocks away from my house. We were coming from opposite directions and decided to meet in the middle. She said she would have a book in her hand; she needed to return it to her friend. I told her the kind of shoes I would be wearing. I wore some popular shit — just in case.
I started walking the couple of blocks and arrived to the meeting spot first. I was just looking around for someone with a “book in their hand.” We were meeting on a busy corner, so I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss her, ya know? From a distance, I see this big fat girl with a book in her hand. I was like damn. *sigh* So, I started walking back the other way. I figured, she was too far to see my damn shoes and I could just walk away. I started walking back home with a little pep in my step. I crossed the street and everything. I don’t know if she started jogging or something, but it seemed like she was catching up. I didn’t bother to look back or anything though. Then I hear “YO…YO…YO….” We are from Brooklyn, so “YO” is what we say. I pretended, I didn’t hear her and I kept walking. She started raising her voice and I definitely think she started doing a run-walk.
I turned around; you are free to call me a dumb-ass. She goes “you didn’t hear me calling you?” I said NO -__-. I told her “I was here for a while and I didn’t think you were coming anymore.” As she spoke, I stared into her mouth. I have a thing for teeth and a nice looking mouth, so I always check. Her shit was a fucking mess! She had like 2 or 3 rows of teeth. I have no idea what was going on in there. I could’t take it!
She tells me she needed to bring the book to her friend and asked would I mind going with her. I reluctantly agreed. We walked a few blocks to the supermarket. She and her friends worked in the supermarket. This is a supermarket, that was close to where my family lived. I was not trying to really be seen with her like that though. Yo, she took forever in the damn supermarket. I was trying to play the back the whole time. I didn’t want to be introduced to anyone or anything. She starts introducing me to people, like I was her girl. I was tight. Her friends were smiling at me and saying “Oh, your girl is cute.” It seemed like they were trying to play me. Or maybe they were just giving her props. I have no clue. I didn’t want to come back in that store and be labeled her girl. I didn’t go back in that supermarket for years! Years!
Finally, we left. When we got back to the original meeting spot, she wanted to walk me home. I was like damn, this shit needs to be fucking over. I want to go home, BY MYSELF! She insisted on walking me home. I declined. She insisted some more. I just told her, I wasn’t even going home right then. I told her, I was getting on the bus. She decided to walk me to the bus. *sigh* Do you know I got my ass on the bus? I lived 3 blocks away and I got on the bus, going the wrong direction. Yep, I did. I got off at the next stop and walked home. She was NOT about to know where I lived. No, Maam!
I saw her a few years later in a club and I pretended not to remember her ass. I don’t even think she recognized me. As soon as I recognized her, I stayed on the other side of the club the whole night.