I am trying something different in the form of punishment. My daughter keeps bringing home things that do not belong to her. Obviously, I do not approve.
When I was a kid, I could not bring home anything that wasn’t mine, PERIOD. There were no excuses. I didn’t even want my friends to give me anything; I didn’t want to get in trouble. I remember bringing home an eraser once, my grandmother acted like I stuck someone up at gunpoint.
I remember getting $20.00 from my friend in fifth grade. I don’t know where he got the money from, he claimed his father. I think he stole it, to give it to me. I didn’t know what to do with all that money. I couldn’t tell my grandmother and I damn sure couldn’t buy shit. I asked my brother if he wanted some money. He lived with my mom and she was much more lenient. Plus, he loved money! I had to give my grandmother all of my money, to put into my bank account. Money really didn’t have much value to me back then. Anyway, my brother came to my house and I think I gave him all but two bucks. I figured I could spend it on candy and not get caught. I never ate $2.00 worth of candy that fast in my life. Back then we could get penny candies, so I had A LOT.
My daughter tells me her friend gave her this and that. Or she found this or that. One day she brought home a toy phone. The shit didn’t even work. She said her “friend gave it to her.” I told her the child’s parents “bought that toy for HER — not YOU.” She loves saying “they said I could have it.” I have explained over and over — kids can not give you anything. They did not buy it, therefore, they can not give it away. You can look at it and give it back.
She is not getting it!
Yesterday she brought home a dollar. She claims it was change from the book fair. The book fair was over — lies. Then she “found” it in her cubby. Then she said it belonged to the boy who shares her cubby. I do not know if this was true, but I put the dollar in an envelope and wrote the boy’s name and the amount. I told her to give it BACK to the teacher.
She said she gave it to the teacher and the teacher gave it to another little girl. I think it may have been the girl’s dollar. I am going to email the teacher today to touch base. Actually, they have a thing at the school today, I am going to attend. Hopefully, her teacher will be in attendance. If not, I am going to send the email tomorrow.
I spoke to her and warned her again about taking people’s things, borrowing, begging, or anything. Leave the other kids with their things.
You now this child brought home a pink pencil that did NOT belong to her? She claims her friend let her use it — she has her own. I am assuming she wanted it because it was pink. She needs to be pleased with her own things.
I talked to her again and I sent her to bed 45 minutes earlier than her sister. I explained that was the consequence to her actions and she has to go to bed early, while her sister gets to stay up. They go to bed @ 8; she was in bed by 7:15.
Oh, she cried the whole time. Her sister liked the fact she could watch T.V, but she felt bad for her sister. When I went to the kitchen, she opened the door and told her to come watch a little T.V. “quickly.” They were trying to talk to each other through the door as well. My daughter apologized for the pencil, for being mean to her sister, everything and anything she could say. I accepted her apology and told her she still had to go to bed early.
I am hoping my punishment worked.
What else can I try?
I really want her to learn to appreciate her own things: toys, snacks & clothes.