Is dating just the time before sex?

I was visiting Sensesocommon and she has given me a topic.

When we go on that first date, are we thinking “do I want to sleep with this person?” I think that may be the case. No?

Is it even a date if you hang out at your apartment? I have a motto, I do not go to people’s homes, if I am not at least a little interested in them. Not saying sex is going to happen, but I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable situation. At least, I know, if I at least like the person, I am cool with being alone with them, even if there is a sexual tension. I don’t want to be in environment like that with someone, I already know I do not like — like that.

I remember when guy friends used to ask me to come over, I told them I was the outdoorsy type. If we are just friends, then why would I come over? I have a television at my own house. I told yall, I used to smoke weed back in the day, and guys would try to use that fact. Well, I always had my own and didn’t like smoking with just anyone. So, that wasn’t going to work. They were just trying to slide out of the friend zone. Wasn’t going to happen and I do not want to put myself in a situation that will make me feel uncomfy. There is nothing worst that feeling like a piece of meat in someone’s house. I will pass.

If it was a sexy woman — that is fun. The little subliminal things are funny and fun to me. You know, when you brush your breasts on her “accidentally.” Or, if she needs has to pass in front of you, and you do not move, knowing the space is too small. You know you should move your ass back a step or two — nope. Allow her to rub her booty all on you. Then look at her like what? Making sure you wear the shirt that does wonders for your boobs. It is fun to catch her looking. More fun when you don’t back down –stare right back and smile! Sitting on the couch and just putting your head on her lap “for comfort.” That is when I will ask you to play in my hair — because I like it. If you do it, you LIKE ME! If things get heated with kissing, touching etc and then I just HAVE to leave just then. Leaving her dripping down her thighs. Yea, I will go to her place. Even if nothing happens, flirting is fun. I actually try not to go to women’s house too soon either. It is fun when the other girl is doing this kinda shit to me too. Well, except for leaving me soaking wet. Please do not leave the job unfinished. If you do, I may start to play hard to get — for shits and giggles.

I think the art of dating has gone out the window.


Do people even really go on real dates anymore? You know, take the time to plan a nice day/night out? Make a good impression? Do we need to see if we are compatible sexually, to see if they are even date worthy? Hmmm.

I actually like to date though. I really do. I enjoy planning a date and seeing how they turn out. I like holding hands. I like making eye contact. I love putting a smile on a woman’s face. Shoot, I love smiling and/or laughing. I don’t like the dating scene though. I am not into serial dating, I really don’t even have the time for it. I like to have one particular woman around. If that doesn’t pan out, then I date someone new. It may even take a while before dating someone new; it depends. That is okay though.

Do people still date?


  1. Thanks for the “Blog Shout” LB!! I’m loving the post!

    I’m still confused. I know what should happen on a date but how long is a person suppose to date. You know how people ask those questions, “Are you seeing anyone right now?” They come back with a response, “I’m dating someone” What does that mean?!!! LMAO!!! I’m pulling my hair out here.

    My high school dating history was awesome. Did all kinds of cool shit. But as I got older and got out of my “negro mentality”, I still couldn’t get back into the swing of things. I don’t know if it’s because I wanted the sex more than the date or what LMAO!! don’t judge me, lol I’ve been off the scene for 5 years… I would be lost out there in this “dating world” thingy LLS! I swear, I would be no good.

    And Reemachronicles, you are hilarious!!! “diet trickin”? LLS too funny


  2. From my POV, a date is just a date, a chance to get together, do some fun stuff, get to know each other a little better and without assuming anything other than why we’re, say, at TGI Friday. What’s going on in my head is something else, mostly a lot of “what if’s” and just me being ready for anything from her throwing a drink in my face to us having breakfast in the morning.

    I think it’s a “mistake” to go on a date and expect anything other than what the date’s supposed to be. I think – and I’ve been taught – to plan a date; when and where and get some input from the person I’m dating. I’m willing to let her set the tone of the evening. But, often, the pregnant pause happens; the date’s kinda over, it’s been fun… and now we’re at the “What do you want to do now?” part of the program.

    I’ve already anticipated this moment; I’m either going to take her home… or we might have sex… but that depends on her. I will toss out recommendations and, sometimes, simply because of the process of elimination, well, you know.

    Some women will throw a simple hint: “I don’t care what we do but I’m not ready to go home yet!”

    Dating is fun… because you never know how it’s gonna turn out!


  3. I still go on dates. I usually make first dates just quick drink dates. The second date, I like to do like a wine bar or dave and busters. Something fun and CHEAP. I definately DON’T do dinner dates until I’ve slept with a girl a few times. No tricking for me haha


      1. Yes, you can eat before we go get drinks. You’re not suppose to be eating late at night anyway haha. Nah but sometimes I will make an exception. I will do half off apps after 10pm if I just met a girl (keep it classy at applebees). I know how to cook so my dinner dates are usually at my place. I’ve been dating two girls for about three months and we’ve been on one dinner date. Sometimes I cook or they come over and cook. I think they appreciate the nice restaurants more because it rarely happens. It’s like they’ve earned it and they love that feeling.


        1. You are killing me here. They earned the dinner? Haaaa. Weirdly, I get it though. Oh, you are oh so classy, with nasty-ass Applebees, LMAO! I think cooking for each other is always nice. That is why I want someone who can make a few meals.


          1. See you know what I’m talking about. The current dating game is not the same. Guys are quick to spend over $100 on first and second dinner dates. Not because they like to go out to dinner. They think that if they spend a lot of money on the girl, she will like them more. That’s like guys that just buy drinks in the club for random girls. I call that diet trickin. Your’re not really a trick but you still are haha.

            I know you hit up applebees for twofers after 10. Especially if you lived in LI!


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