Everyone’s doing it…

Internet dating that is…

I have a question folks…

Can you be in love with someone you have never met? Someone you haven’t even seen a picture of?

Now, some of you may be laughing at me with the picture thing. I am serious. A friend of mine was head over heels with a woman she had never laid eyes on. Not even a picture —  nada. They spoke on the phone and texted for about 3 months. My friend sent her a trillion pictures, but she did not get a single picture. She flaked on meeting a few times as well.

She was acting like she knew this woman for years. I mean for real. I am going to actually follow this blog with another one about this same situation. I don’t want to get off topic. 

She was breaking her neck for phone calls, spent all of her time on the phone and really liked this woman. If the woman said she was going to call at 4, she would stop talking to us @ 3:45. The woman called @ 4:30, lol. Her ass was waiting too. I am not sure the phone even had one good ring. I would have lost interest. I am not that eager to meet these days. I am busy and I am not really on it like that. I wouldn’t take you seriously without a picture and flaking.  If I was really trying to meet you and you were doing this shit? Yea…No. My friend is the type to want to meet the same day; She goes hard. I was a bit surprised with her actions.

She was calling the woman her girl. Making plans to spend time with the woman’s daughter and everything. When I would say something like “Why haven’t you guys met?” She would call me negative. What? I was just asking a simple question. I didn’t say “You’re probably wasting your time on a woman who may look like a monkey.” I was just curious. You know, was there something holding them back? It could be anything.

She was acting like this woman was the one.

On Facebook there is a page that gives lesbian advice. It is a fun lil page. I am seeing so many posts on this kinda thing. I was thinking my friend may have been the only loon, NOPE, there are lots of loons, lol.

People are saying things like, they are in love with a woman they have never met. I mean some people have been in “relationships” with people they have never-ever met. One woman said she was with her girl for a year. A year? Seriously? I may be too much of a cynic for this type of thing. Some people are in “relationships” and were asking for advice on meeting for the first time.  This one woman really made me “LOL and SMH” when she said she was “in love with a woman, who lives in another state, never met her, and the woman had a boyfriend.” I was like giiiiiiiiiiiirl stop. Just cut it out!

Do you have to have sex with someone to be in love? Do you need to have sex to be in a relationship? You can probably be in love without the sex. I have not done it personally, but I think it is possible.

What do you think?


  1. For me I think it’s def possible to be in love with someone without sex. But falling in love with someone I’ve never met; I’m not so sure if that would be an easy thing to do. But I do think it’s possible given the right circumstance. However, if, like in your friends case, the other women seemed to avoid meeting I would be too suspicious to fall for her. For all I know she might be married. Or worse. She could be in jail! Lol


  2. I’m not tryna be Difficult here but what is love?Something thy none of us,nor the experts could explain.

    If you mean LOVE to mean intense feelings:then of course you can have intense feelings for someone you’ve never met.I’ve met girls online over the years and got semi-serious with.


  3. Do you have to have sex with someone to be in love? No, but it helps.

    Do you need to have sex to be in a relationship? Personally, until I’m dead, bring on the sex.

    You can probably be in love without the sex. Yep, you sure can – wait until menopause bitch-slaps you; you might want to get all you can before that happens – from what I’ve experienced with it so far.

    I met my fiancee on eHarmony. Before I met her, I dated four other women I met on eHarmony. Why do this? One, out of curiosity and two, it seemed easier than hanging out in bars or other places I didn’t have time to hang out at. But the falling in love part didn’t happen until we actually met and, yeah, had some mad sex for a while – gives you time to sort out your feelings and all that.


  4. I definitely don’t think that you have to have sex to be in love but I do think that, at some point, meeting the person is absolutely a must. Otherwise, it would be like having a “love” for a celebrity or something. They can be anything in your head that you make them out to be or that they make themselves out to be in your eyes. I think there is definitely something to e said for physical intimacy. Even if it just means holding hands or some serious eye contact, you know? I have a lesbian friend who seems to always be Ina situation similar to this one. I find it odd that she is so desperate (it seems) to forge a connection with someone who, really, could be a 75 year old man!!!


    1. LOL @ a 75 year old man. That is so true. What is worst is the people who have never heard the person’s voice, no picture, nada. Just words. How can you LOVE that? You can like it or like the idea, but that isn’t realistic.


  5. I believe she is in love with the mind stimulation. That’s “her” sex. There are actually some people that get off on that. Someone who can keep her attention for long periods of time, conversations, ways to send messages across to one another… shit that make you think.

    In my weird ass opinion (not that it matters) I think it may be healthy to an extent. However, after the game playng starts, I believe it should be just as if you were dating in the “physical” form: if you won’t put up with bullshit face to face, then don’t put up with the bullshit “cyber to cyber” LMAO!!! (made that one up)


    1. I have had cyber friends that I never met. We actually shared things with each other. We were “cool.” So, I think cyber-stuff is real. But, I can’t go that far with a love interest. After all the sharing and stuff, I want to meet and see if this could be real. Ya know? I wouldn’t start cutting my friends off, because I found the ONE and never saw the ONE, lolol.


      1. Oh I’m definitely with you on that one. Real sex!! not the cyber-sex. I would rather have the real-ness too.

        Yeah, I believe in “cyber-ships” (lol, one of my many vocabulary creations) but not an actual relationship. That would be like living in an unrealistic fantasy. You know what you want and how you would like for it to be, but that’s because the physical form of it is not there. The mind can really play tricks on you lol


  6. When I was younger I had an internet boyfriend. We were faithful to one another. We talked everyday and skped. We met in real life after 2 years of dating without ever meeting. It was fun and after we met we still dated, until I realized I was missing out on life because I would wait for phone calls because they were our dates. So yes, I think you can love someone without ever meeting them. 🙂


  7. I don’t think you can be in a real relationship, be it platonic or romantic, with someone whose pictures you haven’t seen, let alone met them in person. I do think it’s possible to have a long-distance relationship through e-mails and phone calls AFTER you’ve met the girl a few times, but there’s something about being in the same space, smelling each other’s smells, seeing how they move, touching each other, that cannot get replicated in an online environment.


  8. lol I should have read this one first before reading about the other situation…like I said before.. If I meet someone online and I want to get to know them, Im not doing shit in person until I see them on a webcam..the conversation/chatting doesnt even continue if they claim that they dont have one. I dont have time to be dealing with stolen pics, photo shop’d pics or anything else that people think of to deceive others. If I see them on the cam, and they still look like their pics then maybe I’ll give them my number (after looking up their public records) lmao…public records can tell you all you need to know about a person…

    To answer some of the questions, can you fall in love with someone you have never met….yes…but thats exactly what it is, “in love”…you could be in love with a lie…but to really love someone you just hear on the other end of the phone and have never met…no…its easy to make your life sound all good when you arent around a person often, and I think thats why so many people fall into the trap.

    Now I’m not saying that nothing good ever comes out of meeting online, because I have met some great friends and lovers off of the net…but you have to do your homework before getting emotionally attached…and thats with any situation…to me..meeting someone off of the internet is the same as meeting them at a club. You know absolutely nothing about this person, except that she had on some bad ass heels and her booty was looking right in her dress. I dont trust people’s “story” until they prove shit to me. I have had girls lie to me about having a job..and they didnt, having a car…and they didnt, having their own place..and they didnt…When I catch them in these lies, because I will catch them, I have to wonder what the hell is going on in their head…like this is basic information that you should NOT lie about, because it will eventually come to light when you try to spend time with them. All I can say is pay attention to the details when meeting people online.


    1. Yea, I think the webcam thing is a great idea. I remember my pics were stolen once and the person sent them to ME! I was on aol back then and I was in the chat rooms. I think everyone pretty much frequented the same chat rooms. Well, I got a pic of myself. I was like WTH? People are crazy. You are right @ RJ, you could really be in
      love with a lie!


  9. Love is irrational and sometimes not realistic. The heart lives it own way, which is the beauty of life.
    Falling in love can be done in an instant. it is a tricky thing of mind relating and connecting hings of the past with the present – and then the heart reacts the way it wants to.

    Love is not to be confused with sex.
    Although they go hand in hand most of the times when couples are concerned. But many times there is sex but not love, and sometimes vice versa.

    Love is a heart thing while sex often is pleasure for the body. i.e one can work without the other

    Perfect love!


    1. Rasta Teacher,

      I keep coming back to this comment and ruminating over it because it is so true and beautifully articulated. I wish someone had told me this long ago but I learned it the hard way, so I guess that’s better :). It makes me feel sane for loving two people that I was never intimate with which my mind rejected as possible…until it happened.

      Love is a many splendored thing…


  10. Hi LB,

    I have been in love, more than once, without having sex so I think that all depends on what you dig about the person and your connection. Mind you, this has never happened with a man, only women.

    Being in love without the sex. Hmmph. I am a romantic and a realist so here’s the thing. I might think I was absolutely mad for you but until we’ve done the deed there is no kinda commitment. Sex is important to me and I’ve learned the hard way that some things just can’t be taught. So, whil I can understand being totally on to someone who is geographically distant, I would not consider myself in a REAL relationship with them unless we met and had sex.

    I still like on-line dating, as insane as it can be, because two of the most beautiful souls I ever met were found through cyberspace…


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