Coming on too strong?

What is too strong? When you are interested in someone, how do you go about showing them?

I think most people like a bit of aggression. I say a bit, because too much can be overkill for me.

If you meet a woman and you hit it off, then what? Do you call or text right away? Do you wait a bit? What are you waiting for if you are interested?

Is it okay if a woman you just met said things like “The phone rang 3 times, what took you so long to answer?” Is that cute dating type stuff? What if they laughed after? Would that make it better? I think that is a sign of crazy. But, I guess they could have been joking, right? Would it be okay, if you met someone and they constantly asked “So, when are you coming over?”

I think everything should be done in moderation. People should feel out the person. Do not just jump out the window doing dumb shit.

If I come over to your house, do not try to rip my clothes off at the door. Chill. Have you even thought “does she like me like that?” Some people just do too much.

When I meet someone I like, I will call or text to follow-up. I used to wait a few days though. I never wanted to seem thirsty; I like playing it cool.

When I call, I do not go on and on about myself. I let the woman talk; I want to see if she is interested in talking to me. After all, I called her first. I listen to her — I mean really listen. A few conversations can tell me if I am even interested.

Anyway, I don’t like when women come on super-duper strong. Show interest and let it flow.

What do you think?

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11 thoughts on “Coming on too strong?

  1. The best relationships I’ve had started out as just someone that was an acquaintance. Then over time I realized that I was interested in them and they in me.

    On occasions when the attraction was the initial focus it didn’t usually work out. So I guess I like having the luxury of getting to know a woman without the pressure of dating.

    Something happens to us when we become adults. Dating becomes so complicated. And I think it’s because we start to bring former situations along with us into new relationships. And then we are looking for signs to see if things are going wrong.

  2. I am definitely a firm believer of take it slow. I do like to know that the woman is interested in me though so there’s no guessing games. But sometimes people try too hard. You have to let things happen naturally. I don’t think there’s a time line in forming a relationship. I do think some women want relationships but don’t know how to makes that exist. Relationships are not booty calls, or what we gonna do on friday nights. I don’t know, I do things differently but I’m no relationship specialist hey I’m single lol.

    • @ Sea, thanks for stopping by. I want to know there is interest as well. I don’t want to be sitting at home, thinking, “Damn, did that date go well, does she like me?” Yea, my single-behind is far from an expert too lol.

  3. Good one, LB! I suppose on the one hand, we expect the aggressive approach because it show interest – but we don’t want it to be too strong because it makes us defensive; it’s like come on strong… but don’t push it. Don’t come on “strong enough” and we now doubt a person’s seriousness in this; do you want to get to know me or what? It’s so easy to offend someone in this, ain’t it?

    I’d rather be direct: Look, I like you and want to get to know you, if that’s okay with you? How things proceed after that depends on how she answers this opening “move.” If she launches into a billion questions – like “why do you like me?” then I know I have to balance being aggressive – let her know I’m really interested – but not so much that she gets scared away.

  4. True True LB (I just stole that from kdaddy :)) It’s all about balance. Women like when men are aggressive but not overly so! One thing is for sure though is that they don’t like wussy men 🙂

  5. Pingback: Why do women play so much? « The Ramblings of a Lesbian Brooklynite

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