This is a post about a woman whose father left very early in her life. She saw him here and there for a few years. I think the last time she saw him was at 8 years old, and then again at 29. Obviously, this affected her life. She came to the conclusion, as a kid, she didn’t need him. Her family proceeded with an adoption by her step-father. I don’t know her or anything, but the story did touch me. Here is the post.
Here is an excerpt:
He was shorter than I remembered and, naturally, quite a bit older. He greeted me softly. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I could never have imagined what he would have said to me. “I’ve missed you,” he told me. “I just felt so rejected when you sent those adoption papers.”
I stared at him for a minute, shocked. I calmly explained, as you might to a child, that I hadn’t seen him at that point for the better part of eight years. And then I gently reminded him that I was the child and that it wasn’t my responsibility to maintain our relationship. But no matter what I said, I could see that in his mind he was the one who was wronged. I think that meeting gave me a certain amount of peace. Obviously he had, in some mysterious way, cared about me. And obviously, he never quite learned how to take responsibility for his own actions. By then, fortunately, I was quite certain that I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong at the age of four to warrant one parent simply walking away. I’m sure my own memories are warped and twisted by my young age and the passing of time. But it was somehow bizarre to me that in all my time of feeling hurt and unloved, he had an entirely different perception of what had occurred.
I have zero respect for men who are not fathers to their children. I know too many one-parent households. It shouldn’t be this way. Even if a relationship does not work out, being a parent should not be optional.
Why do so many men walk away from their responsibilities?