I always wondered why some lesbians didn’t like to see two femmes together. I think it is hott!!!! I went through the same thing earlier in the game. Other lesbians just did not respect it. I was young and didn’t know too much. All I knew was I liked fems and I looked like one too. It worked for me, so I didn’t see the problem. If I went out with my femme girlfriend, a boi would come over and try to pick-up one of us. If we said we were together, they would scoff at the notion.

What is the issue?

I decided it would be easier to just dress like a boi. I did and that lasted for a few years. Now, that I am back to pretty much dressing like a fem, I have no idea if women still act this way. I am assuming they do. Now, the difference is I could care less. I like who I like and outside influence has no place in my situation.

I concluded the women who did not like to see feminine women together are jealous! Want to know why? Because they are not getting any


What do you think? Have you seen or experienced this as well? Is it like that with the gay guys too? Will two feminine guys get shade thrown their way too?

Talk to me, I really like it when you do.


  1. I think it is honestly a macho-masculine complex with Stud women. To know that their “dominance” isn’t necessary appears to be an insult to them. Given the fact that we have already “bended the rules” when it comes to our sexuality, I find it laughable that women expect respect for the labels. Like stud-on-stud, I couldn’t care less! When your clothes come off, you are both women!

    Not to mention, I have come to find that when the clothes come off – a lot of rules change. You can find the hardest Stud/Boi out there on the streets.. take them in the bedroom and half the time their femme girlfriend is who runs the show!

    Personally, I like who I like – period.

    Love this post!


  2. Oh! and if some of these bois stopped walking around forgetting they were women and looking like things that go BOO in the night, maybe more femmes would be looking for them.


  3. Is that because that’s not the “way” it’s supposed to be? Without offense, I always found it interesting to see lesbians adopting the “classic” male/female roles. So, um, what’s the deal here; if two femmes hook up, is that seen as being gayer than they already are? Would two butches ever hook up for sex (hope I used the right word here)?

    On the male side of this, I have a hard time imagining how two tops or two bottoms would interact with each other because this, too, is the classic male/female model. Not saying that some hot stuff couldn’t happen but knowing how guys act in this, well, it has me scratching my head.


  4. I’ve never understood that either. I have had some question as to whether my partner is a stud or not because of my dominant personality…but no one has ever thrown us shade to my knowledge. It’s their problem not mine. I have seen a lot of stud/bois get upset over seeing pics of two femmes…I think it’s their insecurity talking because they’re looking at the pool of women that they want dry up…just a guess.
    And the whole “who is the man in the relationship?” is so dumb to me! Why does there have to be a “man” role in the relationship? It’s not a screenplay! If someone wants a “man” I’m pretty sure they can get one! We’re in 2011(soon 2012) and not the 1920’s. Marriages/relationships are a partnership now!


    1. Ya know? I look at ejean’s comment… and to me (no offense, ejean), she has the reaction I do when I see two women making love – it is fucking awesome. Supposedly, that’s a “male” response but apparently not, huh? I used to think all lesbians were “the same” but now I know that, um, some are like us guys…

      I think there “has to be” a male role in such things because there has to be; it somehow works out better when someone is dominant and the other person isn’t; put two of the same kind together and either watch the fur fly – with studs – or nothing interesting happens – with femmes? I don’t know – I’m still learning from y’all about this!

      I knew a stud back in the day and I swear, it was like talking to another dude! She’d girl-watch with me and all that good stuff and I pointed out to her that for someone who admittedly can’t stand men like that, she acts a lot like one of us – and she got pissed with me because I said that and right to this day, I do not understand why she did.


        1. It’s not really all that confusing to me; it’s a difference that when you’re on the inside, shouldn’t make a difference but, @valentina, it’s not about equating dominance with being specifically male – it’s the social dynamic that sets the stage for this and in the “traditional” male-dominant/female-submissive roles even though women can be equally dominant – it’s a sociology and psychology thing and in this sense, no, lesbians don’t break this particular mold.

          And, really, not to offend any of you, if you think in terms of “studs” and “femmes,” um, guess what dynamic that fits into? Each “role” has a set of expectations – a certain displayed behavior, yes?

          Personally, I think lesbians are just fascinating no matter how they see themselves – but as an “observer” I see stuff that y’all may not pay attention to like this whole social dynamic. Ya might get pissed with me and I understand but, nope, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, not even with you magnificent creatures; you do follow a known and proven pattern of behavior even if you don’t think you do. And I do apologize and hope you see fit to educate me if I really am dead wrong.


      1. @kdaddy23

        I would just say that some women who appear masculine are not trying to be masculine. They are simply expressing their femininity in a non-traditional way.

        And there is not always a “male” role in lesbian relationships. It might appear that way if you equate dominance with being male. Which I do not.


  5. Great post!

    Both my gf and I are fems and if we go out dressed really fem, make-up and dresses, etc, we get lots of stares. Lol And we get them from lesbians and str8 people. I think people are sort of fascinated by fem and fem relationships.

    I think the real taboo is studs and studs. I know a couple of studs who secretly desire other studs but are afraid to act on it.


  6. Why is it a taboo, Valentina? And, yeah, I’m all up in y’all’s bizness because I want to understand this about you. As previously mentioned, to me, this isn’t any different than my thinking there’s something not quite right about two tops or two bottoms being together – it’s a difference that shouldn’t make a difference… yet it does.

    I know why men are like this – we’re like magnets in that if you try to match up the two same poles, they reject each other, unlike matching opposite poles – which attract. That lesbians appear, at least to me, to have this same dynamic in place just ramps up my curiosity! Don’t shoot me – educate me.


      1. Thank you, Valentina – work with me for a moment, if you don’t mind? If two studs hooking up feels “wrong,” why does it feel wrong to you (or anyone else who wants to chime in)? I’m a guy (duh) and when I think lesbians, I don’t normally think in terms of studs and femmes – I just see women living and loving together (so cool). But then terms like butch, dyke, femmes, studs and even lipstick lesbians (not sure I understand this one) became apparent and now the dynamic has changed – it’s not what I thought it was or even what it appeared to be – but, okay, I’m good with that.

        Then I run into this topic and I’m going, “Oh, wow… this sounds familiar!” Does this feel wrong to you because of the masculine “nature” of one being dominant, using the classical definition so, in a sense, two “guys” hooking up doesn’t make sense – but two “girls” does?


        1. “…two “guys” hooking up doesn’t make sense – but two “girls” does?…

          To be clear, I don’t have a problem with two studs being together. It’s generally considered a taboo by most studs that I know however.

          Like I said before I don’t think of dominance as being a male or masculine quality. And I don’t think of studs in terms of being male (unless that’s how they identify) so the comparison doesn’t really work.


  7. Well im not a lesbian, but i think people believe that if 2 feminine women are dating it is just like an experimentation kind of thing, they expect a lesbian couple to be one feminine girl and one boyish girl..


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