Grudges

I hold grudges. Yep, I do. Sorry, I am not here to say “let go of grudges, blah, blah, blah.”

One of the definitions of grudge: : a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will.

That really does not apply to me, but I am interested in finding a word or phrase that applies to moi.

I do not think you should walk around with a chip on your shoulder. I also, would not like to see you running around angry. I am neither of these. I am a happy person. I love to laugh and I truly enjoy making others laugh. I do not like to sit around sad or angry. I do not let others suck the life or joy out of me. I enjoy happiness: happiness is the goal in my life. Period.

I am one of those people who will stick to my guns if it is important to me. Small things? Whatever! Most things are considered small to me, only because life has so many bigger things in store. I have been told numerous times over the years – It seems like I don’t care about anything. Nonchalant.

I am an extremely loyal person. I try my best not to hurt others and I really try to fix things that I did wrong. I think that is the way it should be. If I hurt someone or caused pain, hurt etc to someone, why wouldn’t I try to fix it? I think I try to over “fix it.” There are very few people in my life that can say I have wronged them in ANY way.

If someones does anything to me or my children, I will hold them accountable. Period.

Yep, that is the word that applies to moi. Others may call it a grudge, but I call it accountability. You MUST apologize and try to make to right with me. If you do not, I will probably never speak to you again in life. Is that harsh? I really do not think so. If, I have always respected you and treated you correctly, why would you want to do anything against me and mines? Well, now it is a song that has been sung. I am done. Most times, I will not even say a thing. They know. Plus, how do I just forgive or go along like everything is fine – if you have not asked for forgiveness or admitted wrong doing? Nope, not into that mess.

If it is something small, I will just move difference with you moving forward. 

I feel, if you did not consider my feelings, why should I consider yours? Well, I wont — I will cut you off. I believe toxic people should be cut off. Why would I want to keep you around? Nope, bye-bye asshole. I apply this to family too. I do not subscribe to the whole “oh, they are family foolishness.” You will come to the conclusion (or not) that you have effed up. If you don’t — oh well. I am sure it has been clear — I am losing out on nada. When I cut people off, I move on. I move on because you are not worth hanging around for. Period. They aren’t even worth thinking about. I thought enough when I was deciding I was done.

I HATE when someone else tells me the person is “sorry and/or didn’t mean it.” What? I do not cut off kids, so I am sure we are talking about a WHOLE adult. Why would they need another ADULT to tell me how they feel? Yes, enabling! I refuse to be a part of it.

Accountability is my friend. Is accountability your friend too?

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