Dollar Van Stories

I have recently started taking Dollar Vans every day. I usually take them once in a while, but with my new schedule at work, it just makes everything a lot faster. If you have never taken a dollar van, it is like being in a high-speed car chase, but no one is chasing you. It is almost like a video game the way the driver dips in and out of traffic. It could be scary, but it is quick. The dollar van actually cost $2 now, which is the same as the bus. They still get a lot of business, because it is faster than sitting on the slow-ass bus. Also, around here we say “Dolla van.” I am not sure what happens to the “R.”

I see and hear the funniest shit on the vans. I decided to blog about the crazies. This actually happened on my way home today.

Dollar Van Driver: ::Talking out the window to solicit riders::”Don’t take the bus today, come in the van.”

Front Seat Passenger: ::Talking on the phone:: “Do you have that denim jacket in the window?”

Passenger: Says loudly to self “damn, all this yelling” She obviously could not hear on the phone.

Driver: “I can’t talk in my own van?”

Passenger: “When I talk to you, then you can say something to me.”

Driver: “This is my car”

Passenger: “AND? WHATEVER! DRIVE THE FUCKING VAN!”

Driver: “Do not curse at me.”

Passenger: ::Gets on phone:: “This fucking faggot must be digging in his ass”

Driver: “Get out of my van!”

Passenger: “I AM NOT GETTING OUT OF SHIT! DRIVE THE FUCKING VAN!”

Driver: “Get out of my car or I am going to get the cops!”

Passenger ::Still on phone:: “Let me call you back, LET ME CALL THE COPS!!!”

Driver: ::Blasts radio, so she can not hear on her cell::

Driver: Get out of my van, I do not need your $2!”

Passenger:”FUCK YOU!”

Driver: “I am not your man, go and talk to your man like that.”

Passenger: “I WILL TALK HOW EVER I WANT, FUCK YOU AND I AM NOT  GETTING OUT!!

Driver: ::Continues driving::

Me: ::Eating my Cold Stone ice cream and puts the news paper away::

Lady next to me: ::Doing all kind of old woman sounds of disapproval::

Me: ::Thinking I would have got out and dragged her out, if I wanted to catch a case::

Passenger: ::Throws 2 bucks worth of change on the dashboard and gets out of van at her stop::

Everyone in van: ::Talk about that rude outrageous imbecile:

Driver: “You didn’t share your ice cream with me.”

Me: ” I couldn’t, I needed it for the show.”

1 Comment

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s