Disapperaring Acts

I know yall like lesbian drama.

Disappearing Acts:

One day she left the house to get ingredients for a pie. She kept joking about coming back in 5 hours; I paid her no mind. Well, the woman left at about 2 o’clock and came back at about 10 o’clock. She left the list for the ingredients at home and never called or anything. I had no idea where she was, who she was with, or what she was doing.  A few hours go by and she texts me telling me she is on her way but someone was “talking her head off.” I looked at my phone and just put it down. Who was talking to her? Where was she? HUH? Instead of texting or calling to say what the hell she was doing. She texts to tell me “someone” was talking her to death. Who the eff is this someone? I did not respond because what she was saying and doing made no sense to me. Oh, then I get another text a few hours later saying she was on the bus, and on her way home. Bus? Why the heck is she on a bus? Where was she coming from? Then she sent me a pic of herself on the bus. Again, I am thinking. HUH? I know how the fuck you look. I saw you before. I don’t need pics on the bus. I need to know wtf you are doing. She comes in the house and I am livid. She comes in all regular and asked ME what I did all day. WHAT? I didn’t do shit. I am thinking this woman is really trying me. Wouldn’t you think she would come in and explain where she had been ALL DAY? Nah, this woman asked me what I did. I was in the house all damn day.

She pulled the same stunt twice within a few weeks or so. I stayed with her after the first time. She apologized and blah, blah, blah. Her sex game was so on point.

The next she brought her dog to my house and said she was going to get some things for the dog. Her friend had a lot of things for a dog he ended up not getting.  So, I tell her we can go to Pet Smart up the block, and she can get that stuff another day. Nope, she was adamant about going. She promised she would go, and he wasn’t going to be there for a few days. Something was fishy. So, I said ok cool. I wanted to see if she was really going to play herself again. I will give you enough rope to commit suicide. She left for a few hours and comes back home with NOTHING. I mean not even a can of dog food. NADA. Here we go with the bullshit. She comes in telling me something about her phone. Again, wtf are you telling me? I want to know where is the dog’s shit! So, I ask. She says “oh, the stuff he had wasn’t really good. So, he just gave me some money to have him groomed.” WHAT? She broke her fucking neck to go over there in the rain. The dog had long ass nails and no wee-wee pads. Well apparently the “professional” nail clip was no bueno and the wee-wee pads were also no good. How can wee-wee pads not be good? I asked her how much money her friend gave. She said $60.00. She said even though the stuff was no good, she stayed and hung out. Ok, again mmmhmm.

The next morning I had to do my hair. I decided to test her lie out real quick. I told her I needed some money. I don’t know if she went to the ATM or anything the night before, but I know she should have at least $60.00 in her pocket, right? She came in after midnight, so how could she spend the money? I didn’t need the money. I just wanted to see something.  I told her to give me $20.00 because I didn’t have any cash on me, and that I was about to go to the bank. She didn’t have any money guys.  She had $14.00 on her and gave that to me. I gave it back promptly, and told her she was a damn liar. She paid her phone bill on her way home. When I was doing my hair, she texts to tell me she can “prove” it by showing me the bill was paid. Mmmhmm. I didn’t even bother asking to see when I got home. Lies.

It was time to end of relationship.

I was still pissed about the whole dog and money thing. After doing my hair, I decided I would go out that evening. She was still at my house and I wasn’t talking to her ass. I went out with my sister. I got home late and was really tired the next morning. I didn’t feel like getting up, so I asked her to bring the kids to school. She was on her way out to get the dog “groomed.” What ever. After they left, I decided to go to work. When I got to work, I didn’t feel good, so I left early. My battery was dying, because I forgot to charge it. I decided to just go home and sleep until it was time to pick the kids up. I tried charging my battery, but the shit wouldn’t charge. I figured I would deal with it later — after my nap. I get up to buy a charger and pick the kids up. I realized this nut had not called me all day and I didn’t know where she was. When I charged my phone (finally) I realized she had texted me. I called her back at about 7:30pm. She was now hanging out with these same “friends” who had the “dog stuff” a few nights before. I wasn’t feeling it. I mean, she knew I was still mad at her, you would think she would bring her ass home after the “fake-ass dog grooming.” I really don’t know if she ever groomed the dog, but I think NOT. I don’t know,  because I never saw that damn dog again, lol.

Anyway, she tells me she is at her friend’s house and they decided they were going out. She thought I was mad at her or some shit, because I didn’t answer my phone. Yea, I was mad, but I didn’t turn my phone off. I think this was her excuse. This is about 10pm now. I told her NO, she should come home. We needed to talk. Nope. When I tried calling her back, she turned the phone off. I was so pissed. She did not answer. She was turning the phone off and on. I was done. Her time was up. I packed all of her shit, a gift she gave me, her dildo — everything. I was so mad, I cut the dildo into pieces. Yep, I did, lol. She had this industrial scissor for some reason. She was telling me it could cut pennies. Well, that shit was in the bag with the dick, so I cut it up. I don’t know about pennies, but dildos, yep. This is still a running joke around here. I stuffed everything in the bag and waited for her to come. She did not have a key to my building, only to my apartment. So, I knew she had to ring the bell when she came. She also only had one key to my apartment. The door has 3 locks. I never gave her any of those other keys on purpose. This woman was full of shit, but I did like fucking her lol. What can I say, it was winter, lol.

She text me at 2am “Honey, I will be home in 2 minutes, I am around the corner.” Honey? Really bitch? I didn’y know where this woman was ALL day. She wasn’t coming in this MFER. So, when she rang the bell, I walked to my door and put her bag out. Then I locked all 3 locks, before buzzing her in. Then, I went to bed. I heard her at the door with her one-ass key. She started calling and texting and going back downstairs to buzz the bell. Man, please. I did not let her in. I was finished. Enough for the bull shit.  She stayed out there for about 3 hours. She was asking me to let her in, because she had the dog. Puhlease. Telling me I shouldn’t do this and she will sleep on the couch. She promised to leave first thing in the morning. She wasn’t getting it.  I told her to go back to where ever she came from; stop ringing the bell and leave my key under the mat. That was all I said. I turned my phone off — not another peep out of me. No questions, nothing. She was killing my bell. I was getting pissed because my kids were sleeping and they had school in the morning. She thought I would open the door, so the kids would not wake up. Nope, chance I was willing to take, Maam.  She did not want to leave the key because “that is not how I got the key.” Well, fuck it keep it then. She left it. Relationship OVER.


  1. Too effin funny!!! You gave her the benefit of the doubt though and you kept your cool. Good shit! for that one! But really?! I’m asking the same questions you were… where the hell was she at and what was she doing, lol!


  2. Girl no. Just…NO. Nothing adds up. 2+2=76 in this equation. I need for at least ONE thing to make sense. She coulda came hm with some puppy cow at the least. smh. No, im sorry but uh uh. Call me pessimistic but i think it’s lies, all lies. Next time, try to join her on 1 of her extended outings. If she starts sweating…u already know the deal. ps. thanks for commenting on my blog 🙂


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