When was the last time you had sex?

Do you ask this question when you first start getting to know someone?

I do.

Why not? I need to know what is going on. I don’t need to know your deepest darkest sexual secret right away. But, this I do want to know.


It is important information. I need to know mainly for H.I.V. purposes. If you tell me you had sex with someone over 6 months ago, and you get tested to be with me, then I feel okay with your negative results. If you tell me you slept with someone the other day, we should wait on taking the test. You know there is a 3-6 month window, and I want to get the most accurate test possible. No point in going to get tested today, if you were jumping off last night. If you were infected it wouldn’t show up yet. So, that is my MAIN reason for asking the question.

Out side of that I would like to know how connected you still are to your last. If you say you and your ex have been over for a year, but slept together last week, I know I need to step away from this situation. I know you have on-call sex with someone you know very well. I am not comfortable with knowing you won’t give that up until I put it on you. And, that is even guessing. I really don’t know if you want to give up the familiar booty at all.

So, that is why I ask this in the beginning stages. Want to know something? I have learned through my own experiences and others that people LIE about this question. I DO NOT GET IT! What are you lying about? Really? You are a grown up. Is it because you don’t want to “seem” like a hooker-ass-ho? You don’t want to say before we went out on our first date that you had sex with someone and hour before? Well, you should. If you had sex an hour prior, maybe you shouldn’t be on a date trying to meet someone new. Just a thought.

Seriously though…your past is your past. This would have been something you did before you even met someone new. Just put it out there because I am assuming a lot of people won’t care. As long as you’re not disrespecting yourself and the person you are with, I think in most cases you will be fine.

Thoughts? Comments? Jump right in.

1 Comment

  1. Im with you on the HIV thing…smh….I don’t want any run ins with emotional attachments. First and foremost, dont lie!!!!!


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